Anxiety is one of those things most men experience but rarely talk about. We treat it like a personal fault, something to hide, something to battle in silence. And because we don’t say the words out loud, we convince ourselves we’re the only ones feeling this way, heart racing, thoughts spiralling, chest tight, mind jumping to the worst-case scenario before we’ve even taken a breath. But anxiety isn’t a weakness, and it isn’t evidence that you’re failing. It’s a response. A signal. A part of you trying to protect you, even if it shows up in a way you don’t always understand.

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Research into anxiety shows that the more we fight it, the louder it gets. The pressure to “beat” anxiety often ends up creating more of it. What actually helps is understanding what’s happening in your body and mind, recognising the patterns, the triggers, the sensations and learning to live alongside it instead of declaring war on yourself. When you stop seeing anxiety as an enemy, it becomes something you can manage, not something that defines you.

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For me, the turning point was realising that anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, it means something matters to you. And when you can step back and name what’s happening, even quietly, the panic loses some of its grip. Not all of it, not instantly, but enough to breathe again.

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Taking small, manageable steps is what makes the difference. You don’t need to overhaul your life or force yourself into situations you’re not ready for. You just need to test the edges, gently. Stretch yourself when you can, rest when you need to, and never tear yourself down on the days anxiety wins. Those days don’t erase progress. They don’t define the journey. They simply remind you that you’re human.

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I’ve had moments where anxiety completely knocked me off balance. Days where I thought I’d never get on top of it. But the more I learned to sit with it, not run from it, not hate it, not shame myself for it, the more manageable it became. Some days you push forward. Some days you don’t. Both days count. Both days matter. And both days are allowed.

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Living with anxiety isn’t about overcoming it once and for all. It’s about creating a relationship with it that doesn’t control your entire life. It’s learning your rhythms, your limits, your triggers, and your strengths. It’s accepting that some days are heavy, and some are lighter. And it’s knowing that your energy is not infinite, so if today isn’t the day you fight, then today is the day you rest.

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Anxiety doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your body is trying to protect you in the only language it knows. And when you start listening, properly listening, you stop feeling ashamed of it and start learning how to move through it.

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The challenge for today: pick one small thing that feels just slightly uncomfortable, not overwhelming, just stretching you a little, and give it a go. And if it’s too much today, save your strength and try again tomorrow. Progress isn’t linear.

“You don’t have to beat anxiety to live your life, you just have to keep moving in your own time.”

Tom Gosling 6/12/25